Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?
Shop deviantART for the
holidays and save BIG!
Click here! :holly:
[x]

deviantART

:date:
 


Would he still call me beautiful in the dark?


He welded me a heart and I feel whole again
like I can breathe in each sunrise
at last
He calls me beautiful to other people
and raves about everything I am
He is more than a dream
but more like-
cordless tranquility
take-anywhere-sanity
that beats the soothing sound
of a double bass.

We are two pieces of a conundrum
I the sky and he
the water
connected on the horizon line
and we thrive in a place where
we speak tomorrow in whispers

Yeah,
love ya too, kid.
©2007-2009 ~Amanda-San
:iconamanda-san:

Author's Comments

So here's a story, coming straight to you on this wonder December the 28th.

So Aaron, my little sister, and I all went into K-Mart once in search of yarn. I saw a fountain advertised as "Cordless Tranquility"- how cool, right? Peace in a box! So I fawned over it for a little before we moved on to the rest of the store. I kind of forgot about it until Christmas when Aaron and I exchanged gifts. And what did he give me as one of my gifts? Cordless tranquility. I have it all set up now, and it is very tranquil, I must say. Not quite peace in a box, but close as anything.

I took the title of the fountain as the subject of this poem, hopefully taking it a different direction than the silly idea that it started as.

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconeffamay:
"cordless tranquility".. I love phrases like that. you've just given the poema real unique touch :)

I liked the fact that it's kind of a... mature romance throughout, if you like,
then at the end, you drew it back to the fact it's a "teen or young romance" poem.

:heart:

--
Dum spiro spero.
:iconamanda-san:
Thank you very much for reading/favoriting. :) I had to go back and read to see what you meant by the mature to teenage romance transition, but I got it. That I take a lot from what actually happens now- the going between completely profound and blushing while holding hands across the street. I think it's how a lot of relationships are.

--
Explosive earth
soundless snowfall
:iconjohnweirra:
I always find with romance pieces that either I'll absolutely love them or absolutely loathe them. For me, it depends on how cliched the entire thing feels.

But, I love this one. Chiefly because it explains love in a way I've never seen it explained before. I agree with Effamay, this poem has a real unique touch to it.

Beautiful work.
:iconamanda-san:
Thank you so much. It's tough to keep writing love poems, as times change, people change, and it becomes harder to describe what I really feel. I'm glad you still think I do it right. :)

--
Explosive earth
soundless snowfall
:iconsorayaz:
this is beautiful.

--
The more things change, the more they stay the same.
:iconamanda-san:
Thank you very, very much.

--
Sometimes people leave you
Halfway through the wood.
Others may deceive you,
You decide what's good.
You decide alone.
But no one is alone.

-Into the Woods

Details

December 28, 2007
772 bytes

Statistics

6
4 [who?]
61 (0 today)
1 (0 today)

Site Map